FIRST CLASS FOOLS

We Like To Skateboard, And Start Trouble

BPFH

BPFH by Jon White

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Why do I go through all this trouble for you pricks?  Every year someone gets kicked out, lands themselves in jail, or wakes up in a strange place.

This all started years ago when my parents told me our dead end block was included in the block party around the corner. All in all, it was 34 households throwing family parties, with activities such as hayrides, cookouts, and a jump'n'fun. It was the perfect opportunity to invite my shit head friends to come over and get rowdy.

Don't forget that it's a dead end street! 

Don't forget that it's a dead end street! 

I figured I'd get The Avantist (who at the time I referred to as "the advantists"  because I'm an idiot) to play, and watch skate videos on a projector. It was a great time, and I wanted to make it happen again.

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Life got crazy one year, and I was out of town for a summer. I became complacent after blowing a chance to have Andrew WK come and DJ. But with the help of some amazing people, we were able to still have a huge party. There was a few double ended dildos that night that freaked out some, but entertained most. A friend called the morning after explaining how he woke up in his bed, with no recollection of how he got there, bleeding from his head. So much so, that his pillow was stuck to his head as he sprung up in panic.

I wish I could tell you what to expect this time around. But something always surprised me the night of the party. So come on out, bring some beers, bring your dumbass friends, and let's have some fucking fun. 

"I love you all. Get the fuck out of my house." 

"I love you all. Get the fuck out of my house." 

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BPFH by Corey Burgeson

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 The following was written (very thoughtfully) by skateboarder and singer of The Wrecks, Corey Burgeson, about his past experiences at the Block Party From Hell.

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Dildos, wrecked cars, shitty music by shitty people, and last but not fucking least, Lil Gook. There's your fucking blog. 

Stoked at BPFH 2010

Stoked at BPFH 2010

BPFH by Mike Schultz

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The following was written by the bassist of The Ridgelands, Mike "Chocolate Milk" Schultz, about his past experiences at the Block Party From Hell.

 

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Foreword: The following "events" I will be reminiscing are being written in a stream of consciousness seeing as it all kind of blurs together and I may not have always been conscious.

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times but like a shiny butt plug at the end of the anus of life was Jon White's block party from hell. I have only frequented two of these parties, on account of being on tour for some of them, but boy was it a hell of a time.

"Hey you want a dollar?" 

"Hey you want a dollar?" 

One year I was... Well let's just call it in bad shape, got really drunk, made my ex mad at me. The following year I was in much better shape except for the rash that the West Nile virus had brought on. Basically it was a bunch of drunken partying in typical White household fashion. One memory that I remember of course is dildo related. Now at some point the dildo was trusted in my hands so of course I ran around and smacked people with it.

Thats when I seen this gangly white kid with dreads and immediately thought, "oh it's on hippie" so I proceed to smack him in the face with the rubber phallus. He gets pretty upset, totally pissed. Then I realize it's this kid Patrick that I grew up skateboarding with in my neighborhood. Everything was cool and totally uneventful after we found that out. All in all the block party from hell is a great time that your liver will hate you for. Highly recomended! 

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P.s. Also Jons nephew Putch is usually there and he's the baddest and raddest little dude out there, he's gunna be kicking Corey's ass in no time.

P.P.S. I'm bringin' poppers

 

BPFH by Esta Vivo

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The following was written by the singer of Esta Vivo, Ryan, about his past experiences at the Block Party From Hell

 

Where do I even begin when it comes to The Block Party From Hell? No, seriously, this haze of shitty racks of pilsners is paralyzing most of my ability to remember much of anything. Maybe the year Lil Chris showed up in mostly all denim and heavy metal hair extensions? Or bombing 103rd with Bart with cases of shitty beer strapped to our decks while being too underage for my own good.

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The fact is, there are way too many memories to recollect and throw down on this thing for all of you to laugh and giggle at while you take a break from stroking your little dicks to some overrated porn (sorry for the inconvenience by the way). Further more, in the spirit of the whole thing- if you weren't there in the past years, fuck you. You shouldn't even get to know the shit that went down. 

So what I will give you is this: Amongst the killer music and familiar rad faces, some of which you probably thought were dead, and feeling that sense of just being 'home' (let's face it, the White household has been home for a lot of us over the years) the best part of The Block Party From Hell is the pure renegade spirit of the fucking thing. The reason we're all in this together, the reason why Jon takes the time to make it all happen: to take over. Make it known that we're here and we're having a good time, whether you like it or not. 

Taking advantage that this little suburban street gets shut down once a year for kids and families to take hay rides and stroke their politically correct egos about how well they're doing. 

Of course we would see the opportunity to throw a loud obnoxious party right in the fucking middle of it. Why wouldn't we? We're dirty. We're pissed. We have something to say. And on our watch, we won't give you the peace and quiet you "deserve". We're here and you're going to know it. 

You want my favorite memory? It's the core of the whole mess. What makes it happen year after year. The attitude. That's the absolute best part of it. The same reason some bored kid grabs a bag of concrete and starts his own skatepark under a bridge. For our own little fucked up paradise, even if it's just for one night. To raise beers in honor of Cardiel. To finally have a chance to fuck that one girl you've been dreaming about for ages. Who cares, it doesn't matter. Take it for what it means to you. The important thing is that it's happening. And god dammit you made it there, so come join the party or get out of the way.

BPFH by Tall Doug Of The Ridgelands

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 The following was written by the singer of The Ridgelands, Tall Doug, about his past experiences at the Block Party From Hell

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I'm very excited to be apart of the block party from hell this year! As it being my 1st maybe 2nd time attending one of these parties. I may have it mixed up to the countless other parties I've been to at this house...if you have ever been to a BPFH then I'm sure you know the stories: bands, cops, dildos, that weird redheaded kid who keeps talking about his steel reserve tattoo, that Asian kid who is about to rap on stage after drinking well over 16 beers. It's all good fun!

There's a handful of bands playing this year and a few djs too! They might play crap you don't wanna hear... They prolly will, but who cares?!? Just drink about it and shut up. It's going to be a hell of a time. I'm pretty sure it's all ages (Edit: it is all ages) so don't be a dummy! Hang out, drink some drinks and be cool!

Most importantly DO NOT disrespect Jon's parents house or the neighbors houses, and as always... invite your older sister and her friends. Yer hot cousin and her friends, no one likes a dong party! Err... Maybe we do? I don't fucking know anymore!!?!?! Just show up and find out!!! CYA 

TD